Shortfalling
Sometimes I have a decency deficit
I saw a man today At the park He was playing with his daughter Our children played together But I didn’t say hello That part of me took over The part that doesn’t want to bother The isolated and alone part That doesn’t want to say hello The closed off part That won’t acknowledge another Or start a conversation That doesn't want to hear about the random struggles And the triumphs Of strangers going through this life Just like me Our daughters played together Swinging on swings Bouncing on the see-saw Laughing and interacting No less stranger than their fathers But much less closed off Then we left I told my daughter to say goodbye To be polite But I did not say goodbye to the man I wasn’t being polite I didn’t acknowledge him This fellow traveler Inhabiting the same space and time This person I didn’t care to know And we went home Later he and his daughter left too Later that night I went to the coffee shop I took my whole family I took my daughter We were sitting and talking Then a man walked in With his daughter And his father It was the man from the park He look at me I looked at him And he remembered me And I remembered him I didn’t acknowledge him though Once again I didn’t say hello I did not give him so much as a head nod That part of me that wants to remain closed off That part took over Retreating yet again Into my shell This person I’d seen before I was Given another chance to say hello But arrogantly turned my nose up at it The universe wanted us to meet For a reason I will never know Because I allowed myself to be closed off Isolated and alone I don’t believe in coincidence I don’t believe I ever have But if I don’t believe in coincidences Then this event happened for a reason I was supposed to cross paths with this man We were mean to meet Now for a reason I will never know What a failure! I did not win against myself I did not ask the question Holding to some misinformed justification I failed to even say hello I’ll go back to that park one day He won’t be there He will be somewhere else with his daughter The moment is gone I’ve made my choice I’ve missed an opportunity For what I will never know God or the fates give us gifts If we receive them Do not reject the gifts Whatever you tell yourself If God or the fates See fit to give me another chance I will take it I have to Even if I only say hello